Brave Narra at the Dentist: On Baby Tooth Extraction and Why My Daughter Makes Me Proud

Narra, behaved and excited, with her best friend Mickey.

One of the most important things in life I'd need to warn my children about is this painful but necessary lesson: that we won't always get what want - sometimes, we have to get what we NEED, even if it is the exact opposite of what we want.   That is exactly what happened when we went to the dentist last week.   Narra was excited to go there. She wanted to get her two front teeth cleaned, and fixed, because it got chipped a couple of weeks ago.  She came up to me, with a tiny piece of her front tooth in her hand and said: "mama, paayos natin ngipin ko sa dentist" (mama, let's get my teeth fixed by the dentist). She wanted a repair so she can have a better smile.  That's what we wanted. But the dentist had crushing news. Narra needed something else, not cleaning, not repair.  She needed to curb an infection that may likely worsen if left unchecked. She needed to come back to "Bites and Smiles" Dental Clinic again the following week, to be handled by their pediatric specialist, Doc Sandy. I was warned in advance: she may need an extraction.  I had to prepare my daughter for the opposite of what she wanted - she was not going to get the better smile she hoped for - not for the next couple of years - until her permanent teeth finally erupt.   

Narra and Guijo, excited to go to "Bites & Smiles".

The blame game started the minute I heard the word "extraction".  First, I blamed my genes (surely, Narra got weak milk teeth from me), then I blamed my decisions. Why, oh why, did I breast-feed her on demand through the night? Narra cried a lot in her first year, and I breast-fed her exclusively. I feared she wasn't getting enough milk! So every time she cried, I fed her. A friend told me to let her cry on at night, so she will learn to soothe herself. Another friend told me to rinse her mouth with water, or wipe her teeth down after every feed to prevent "milk rot".  But I could do neither.  I couldn't bear to let her cry through the night; and couldn't bear to wake her to clean her teeth after I worked so hard to get her to sleep.  When later, I saw signs of tooth decay, I ran to the dentist (Narra was only 1 year old then), and did whatever options were available: application of fluoride film on the teeth; and nightly application of a calcium tooth mousse after brushing.  Despite my best efforts at catch-up care in the last 2 years,  the painful truth remained: an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.  

Guijo, waiting for his turn, while on the Li'l Tikes seesaw.

Truly, parenthood is not a walk in the park. It is an unending series of everyday decisions with lasting consequences.  It is also a continuous learning process. And Narra paid the price of my tuition in the school of motherhood.  Her first-born's curse, is her younger brother's blessing.  All the mistakes made in Narra's time, get acknowledged and addressed by the time Guijo gets his turn.  So Guijo has perfect teeth.  He gets the best of both: the benefits of breast-feeding, coupled with preventive dental care.  (And getting his father's genes may have helped  too).  I wish life was fair, and parents can give the same quality of protection and care for their kids, in equal measure.  But the truth is, our circumstances change, and subsequently, our parenting capabilities too.  The woman I was as mother to 1-year old Narra then, is not the same woman I am now, as mother to 1-year old Guijo.  When Narra was 1 yr. old, I was working full-time, and was away for the whole day, and breast-feeding her through the night assuaged my guilt for not being around - it made me feel closer to her - but I wasn't superwoman, I came home dead tired, and I was sleep-feeding and unable to rinse her teeth, hence, the milk rot.  Now that Guijo is 1 yr. old, I am working part-time, and I spend most of the daytime with him, so I don't feel compelled to feed him through the night.  

On the day of our visit to the dentist, I had to make the dreaded phone call to my husband. I started the conversation by reporting the good news (Guijo's teeth are perfect); then I gave the bad news (Narra's extraction).  We discussed our options.  Our yayas at home instructed us on the typical Pinoy family's common response to tooth decay in milk teeth which is to simply let it rot until it falls out - the logic being: it will be replaced by permanent teeth anyway so why bother with interventions?  In other words: "Hayaan na lang" (just let it be), and Narra's yaya argued further: "wala pang gastos" (and you won't spend a thing).  The dentist was of a different opinion.  Signs of infection were present, on the tooth and on the gums.  The tooth was beyond repair. Extraction was strongly recommended.

Again: an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure. Better curb infection sooner, than later. We scheduled an appointment. 

Brave Narra, staying still despite the huge injection wielded in front of her.

A week later, we returned to "Bites and Smiles", without Guijo this time, for our appointment with Doc Sandy. He observed Narra's demeanor, and he felt she was capable of going through the procedure without the need for sedation.  He rubbed topical anesthesia first, then wielded this huge injection.  I resisted any urge to flinch and cringe.  I smiled (Ms. Universe style), because I was in Narra's direct line of sight.  I had prepared her by showing episodes of "Finding Nemo" repeatedly. We made fun of the scenes in the dentist's office, when everything was in chaos.  Then we made fun of "Mr. Bean" and the episode when he went to the dentist and was so afraid.  This was my way of approaching the topic of pain, via the route of humor - and Narra has a sense of humor (thank God).  We also played with her "Doctor's Set" and she pretended to inject medicine on me.  Narra behaved impressively.  She was a picture of composure and courage while anesthesia was being administered.  And when it was time to pull the tooth out, she asked to hold my hand. She hesitated, and I talked her through it.  I told her the anesthesia would wear off if we didn't do the extraction soon, and she would feel the pain, so I coached her back to a lying position. Even after 2 trips to the OR for childbirth; and 2 root canals right after; I was not ready for this kind of pain - of watching from the sidelines as a loved one suffered. If only I can go through my daughter's trials for her.

When Doc Sandy exerted some pressure to pull out her teeth, a few tears rolled down her eyes. And she clutched my hand, and after the tooth was pulled out, she asked me to hug and carry her.  "Hindi ako masaya na tinanggal ang ngipin ko, mommy" (I am not happy my tooth was removed, mommy), she told me quietly.  I asked if she was feeling any pain, and she assured me she wasn't in physical pain. She was just sad.  Oh dear. My heart sank.  The people at the dental clinic suggested we get her ice cream, to soothe her mouth and lift her spirits.  But Narra requested to visit her grandparents' house. So we did both. We bought ice cream en route to her Lolo's and Lola's.

Narra with her grandfolks, right after the extraction.

When we got to my parents' house, Narra wasn't her usual talkative self.  She was pretty silent because she couldn't really feel her tongue and lips which were still numb from anesthesia. She was just slowly regaining sensation in her mouth.  My mom, ever wise in her ways, asked her if she wanted to go out on the lawn and backyard to feed the free-roaming rooster, hens, and chicks my parents kept in the premises, and Narra readily agreed.  For the next half hour, she scattered grains and basked in the attention she got from her feathered friends. Through the window, I could hear the chirping of chicks, the cackling of hens, and my daughter's precious chuckles.  The tooth extraction and residual numbness in her mouth were soon forgotten, as Mother Nature and Father Time worked their healing magic.  On our way out, she was already singing and dancing!

Narra, finding comfort in her brother.

Reporting her dental adventures to her papa.

By the time we made it back home, Narra was bouncing with excitement.  She pranced around like a triumphant warrior proudly displaying battle scars.  She ran to Guijo for a hug, directing him to look at the gap where her tooth used to be.  Then, hand-in-hand, brother and sister spilled into our bedroom, and jumped on Oliver.  Narra couldn't wait to show her father the results of her latest dental adventure.  That night, we scoured the internet for dental photos: of tooth decay, milk rot, the sequence of tooth growth... we looked at drawings of permanent teeth lining up above and below milk teeth... we talked things through. Using a dental tool given to us by "Bites and Smiles" (a plastic stick with a small, round, angled mirror at the end), we studied her teeth in the bathroom mirror.  While I was staring at her bruised gum, Narra stared at me intently - she read the expression on my face, and said: "It's ok mama, I will wait for my tooth to grow".   It was something I needed to hear.

Narra asked me to take her picture so she can see her new smile.

"It's ok, mama".    Did she know I was feeling guilty for how I've failed her, and I was hoping for forgiveness?  Did she know I was worried and wanted to know she wasn't in pain and too disappointed?  Did she know I was anxious about the thought of her going to school for the first time in June, without her front tooth - that I fear her classmates may comment on this and affect her self esteem?  I don't know what she saw in my face that prompted her to say "It's ok, mama"... the important thing is, she said it.  And this makes me so proud of her.  We went to the dentist, and she got the opposite of what she wanted.  And she understood it had to be done because it was what was needed.  She isn't even four years old, and she's already teaching me something about hope, faith, and keeping positive after suffering a loss.  This is just the beginning.  I know, as we go through our life together, that we will lose a lot more than just teeth... and I look forward to those times, when she will read the troubles written on my face, and tell me "It's ok, mama", and I will believe her, again and again.


For kid-friendly dental care, check out Bites and Smiles Dental Clinic Makati:
http://www.bitesnsmiles.com/

Out and About While On The Cohen Program: At Da.U.De Tea Lounge

I am not just surviving on my Cohen Eating Plan, I am enjoying it.  Sure, there are many restrictions, but instead of feeling deprived, I feel quite the opposite: I feel privileged whenever I get to go out to order something out of a menu, something allowed, something I can consume without having to measure precisely.  I find myself appreciating stuff I used to take for granted.  So much of the food I eat these days is home-cooked, that "dining" out is really a treat. Not that I don't enjoy the food I'm eating - because I do. I have no complaints about eating good stuff - like lean meats and fish, and fresh fruits and greens... but I do miss going through the motions of stepping into an establishment, soaking in the ambience, perusing a menu, and anticipating the arrival of my order. I also miss socializing with good friends in pretty places. So imagine my joy when my friend Ana suggested we meet up for a catch-up chat at Da.U.De Tea Salon in Fort Bonifacio.   It's that kind of place that excites the senses and touches the soul, and let's one get away with an indulgent experience without the guilt-inducing glut.  I only had tea, nothing more. But in this kind of establishment, that's the best thing.  After all, it is a tea salon.

I first found out about Da.U.De when we received one of their box-sets as a gift for Christmas.  The set contained an elegant tea steeper and 2 canisters of loose leaf tea (the more popular Green Tea; and the exotic blend called "Pu-erh" - which smells and tastes the way it sounds).  I found that tea set intriguing and impressive - the name Da.U.De struck a chord and stayed in my head.  One day early this year, we drove by 26th street at the Fort, and saw the newly opened tea salon in passing.  I made a mental note to check it out sometime soon. So when Ana scheduled our meet-up this February, I was so excited to visit the tea salon that I checked out their website in advance so I could plan my visit - being on the Cohen Eating Plan has taught me to prepare ahead.  I always leave my house with a clear game plan.

I planned my schedule so that I'd eat at home right before heading to the Fort, that way I could focus on the flavors of the tea and the flow of conversation. And here's the great thing about going to Da.U.De, the act of drinking tea is an indulgent experience!  Choosing from their dizzying selection made me feel like a kid in a candy store.  There were jars of loose leaf tea waiting to be sniffed... I loved going through the motions of flicking the lids off the jars, feeling the rubber rim snapping off the glass, hearing the soft shuffle of tea leaves as I give the containers a gentle shake.  I inspected each candidate visually, I looked at the hues, and shapes, and finally, breathed in to get a dose of flavor based on each blend's unique scent. It was a tough call, choosing a winner out of all the contestants begging for my patronage.  But I had a Cohen-based criteria for narrowing my options: no flavored teas - just black tea or pure herbal ones (and even with such criteria, there was still a lot to choose from).  I ended up indulging in 2 kinds of Cohen-compliant tea, ordering a cold beverage first, and a hot one, next.

The tea arrived in such lovely packaging, I felt giddy-good.  The cold tea came in robust paper tumblers   with bold prints in eye-catching black and white.  The lids had sleek silver rims, and crisp white tops - and the straws - oh my, these uber-cute, solid-sturdy, oversized, firm paper straws in sliver stripes and black dots - I loved them!  They were F.U.N.   And the hot tea came in a tea accessory described in Da.U.De's website as the "Tea Maker" or this "fabulous lightweight tea steeper" that works like a nifty gadget, it "features an auto shut-off valve that is activated whenever the tea maker is lifted away from your cup".  It was not the usual teapot, that's for sure.  It was fun to use, and fabulous to watch. 

So I went out, and all I had was tea - and it was wonderful!  It's a far cry from the usual experience at other restaurants where having tea means getting a cup of hot water with a tea bag on the side. Nope. At Da.U.De, having tea is an event!  Getting to savor the taste and flavor of artfully crafted tea happens after  one goes through a most appetizing selection process - that of partaking of the visual and olfactory buffet offered by the array of tea on display.  With so many things forbidden on the Cohen Eating Plan I find myself looking for ways to elevate my enjoyment of the things that are allowed.  Tea is one of them. And at Da.U.De, one gets the most indulgent tea-drinking experience, in an elegant setting no less.  I felt no deprivations, only privilege.  

Da.U.De's Website:
http://we.lovedaude.com

Their Facebook Page:
http://www.facebook.com/daudetea

Guijo's First Haircut at Cuts-4-Tots

Haircut in progress - fussy Guijo, somewhat calmed down by a toy.

Living out what I only used to daydream about - that's what's happening to me now that I'm a mom.  It's all those little things, mundane everyday stuff - like taking my little boy for a haircut!  I remember walking by Cuts-4-Tots at Glorietta countless times back when I was still single and dating, and I'd always imagine taking my own kids to this cute kid salon someday.  That someday happened last weekend when we took Guijo for a cut!  It's our first time to patronize Cuts-4-Tots because, as luck would have it, my mom owns a beauty salon, and her establishment is like a second home to us.  Our little girl, Narra, has had her crazy-curly tresses trimmed there, so she never had the Cuts-4-Tots experience.  Oliver goes to his own barber though, and he wanted Guijo's head to go under the hair clipper.   

Guijo, happily deposited by Oliver into his "car" seat.

Cuts-4-Tots has such kid-friendly interiors, with brightly painted walls, playful seating for companions, and best-of-all: the seating for the tots - the converted toy cars installed on hydraulic poles - kids love sitting in them, and the steering wheel gives them something to grab, not only for stability, but also to keep their hands busy.  Adjusting the height of the seat is a fun process, it makes it feel a bit like a carnival ride for the kids.  Narra was equally entertained as she waited for Guijo to get his hair done.  She sat happily in her chair throughout the process.

Oliver, explaining the kind of cut he wanted for Guijo.

The haircut goes for 350 pesos.  For kids going for their first haircut, the salon offers a cute certificate (195 pesos) which displays "before" and "after" pictures, and a lock of hair.  Parents have to return for the certificate after 2-weeks, it takes them a while to get the pics printed and the lock of hair mounted.  It would be much cheaper to take our little boy to a regular barber shop, but we wanted Guijo's first haircut to be fun and playful, so we took him here.   Unfortunately, his fun was rather short-lived.  Guijo started to cry as soon as they put him in this yellow gown. It was quite a struggle to get him prepped.  The staff offered various diversions: toys, bubbles, and they turned on the dvd with Barney singing cheerfully on screen (that did not help much).

Guijo, started to cry as soon as they started to wear the salon gown on him.

Guijo cried.  Well, no. That's an understatement. He bawled. And screamed.  My easygoing and calm kid was crying out loud, we had to ask for a time-out until he could calm down.  Obviously, we have no photos of those tense minutes.  What's even more horrifying - a new set of customers came in as Guijo was throwing a fit.  I felt bad for the little kid and his parents who just came in... their happy haircut moment may just have been ruined by my son's angry vibe.  I bought a lollipop for sale in the counter, and offered it to my son.... I figured, with candy in his mouth, he's bound to be quiet.  It sort of worked, but not quite.  With lollipop in his mouth, he continued to cry (which only meant a sticky stream of candied saliva spilling onto his salon gown...thank God its the washable kind).

The rest of the haircut was a blur.  I heard the hair clipper whirring, as my son kept sobbing-with-lollipop-in-his-mouth, and Barney kept singing on tv.   I heard another song on the radio playing in the background, and toys rattling, and there were bubbles flying around, and there was this other kid running around the salon.  Yikes. Emotional vertigo.  This was not the scenario I daydreamed in my head decades ago.  I imagined a hallmark greeting card scenario, with kid smiling, and parents looking proud... instead, what we got was this harried experience in a pretty place.  Don't get me wrong, I liked Cuts-4-Tots.... it is a pretty place that looks fun and playful...  no amount of their preparation could guarantee a pleasant experience though.  A kid's temperament is beyond anyone's control.  Guijo, my lovely kid, who smiles so sweetly first thing in the morning... my calm kid who chills out beautifully, and laughs so easily all the time, turned out to be one of those guys whose hair you do NOT touch.

   

The result.

We paid and left as quickly as we could.  The farther away from the hair clipper we got, the calmer Guijo became.  Despite the stressful process, we were thrilled with the results!  Guijo looked like a fresh recruit with his crew cut.  Whew!

Preparing for Pre-School: Toddler Enrichment Options in Serendra and Bonifacio High Street

E.nopi Serendra

It seems that nowadays, with the new K-12 curriculum in force, kids are expected to learn more at an earlier age.  When I took Narra to St. Paul Pasig for her entrance exam, I found out that she'll be joining Nursery 2 (and not Nursery 1 as I originally thought). Grade 1 is now at age 6 (instead of 7 yrs. of age, like it was in my time in the early 1980's).  The guidance counselor at St. Paul advised me of the curriculum of Nursery 1, and which skills Narra should already have by June, when she starts Nursery 2.  For instance,  I have to get her to learn the alphabet in lower case (she only knows upper case letters).  She also has to learn to write numbers (she only knows how to read them for now).  

So I went in search of enrichment programs to help prepare Narra for the coming school-year.  I confined my selection to one area: Serendra/Bonifacio High Street in Global City.  And I found a number of exciting options to choose from to prepare 3-year olds for formal schooling. I had to choose among the following:

1) KUMON (Located at Bonifacio High Street)

More well-known as an after-school math and reading enrichment program, Kumon also has an early learning program for children as young as three years of age to help them acquire skills before formal schooling.  Kids are given worksheets to complete on-site, as well as at home. Sessions can be 2 to 3 times per week, at 30 - 45 mins. per session, depending on the child's attention span. Cost is at 1,800/month, per subject.  

Website: http://ph.kumonglobal.com/

2) THE LEARNING LIBRARY (Located inside Gymboree, 2nd Floor of Serendra)

This is a literature-based enrichment program in either English or Filipino to help kids acquire skills in reading comprehension, writing, and oral communication.  The physical setting is a children's library, with a collection of attractive books which kids can use on-site, and also borrow to bring home.  Sessions are 2-3 times a week, from 30-45 minutes, at 3,500 per month in most branches.  The cost in Serendra is slightly higher.  

Website: http://www.learninglibraries.com

3) TUTORING CLUB (Located at Bonifacio High Street)

Their pre-kindergarten program focuses on reading skills so young children can learn to recognize letters and the sounds they make.  For 3-year olds, only the Reading program is offered (no math enrichment programs yet).  The cost will depend on the length of the program you choose to enroll in - if you choose a bigger block of hours, the cost per hour will be less.  Approximate cost is at 500 pesos per hour (but could be less if you enroll for a longer period). 

Website: http://www.tutoringclub.ph

4. GYMBOREE (2nd Floor, Serendra)

The School Skills classes to prepare children for school, or enhance their learning experience if they already go to pre-school. There's the Learning Lab class that acquaints kids with letters and numbers; and the Science Fun class to encourage exploration and inquiry, as well as observation and analysis. Costs would depend on frequency of classes (3,200/month if 1 class per week - the rate per class gets cheaper if it is 2x or 3x per week).  They also usually have a "Kindercamp" for summer, but they were unable to give me the details yet, when I called earlier this month. 

Website: http://www.gymboree-ph.com/

5. E.NOPI, or EYE-LEVEL (2nd Floor, Serendra, Facing Market Market)

Now called Eye-Level, E.Nopi (as it is more popularly known) provides basic learning skills programs in English and Math from ages 3-16.  Sessions are twice a week, for 30-45 minutes (depending on the child's attention span).  The child completes workbook exercises under the supervision of a teacher, and reinforces lessons learned through homework supervised by parents/guardians at home. Cost is at 1,980/month per subject. 

Website: http://www.myeyelevel.com

So where did I end up sending Narra? E.nopi (Eye Level) won the contest! And here's why:

a) I already sent Narra to Gymboree's Learning Lab before. She enjoyed that, sure, and she learned a lot, but there was no homework, no workbook to complete at home. Besides, she associates Gymboree with playing, so I thought a change of scenery was in order. 

b) I wanted her to learn both English and Math, so Learning Library and Tutoring Club which focus on Reading only, and not Math, were out of the running. I was left with Kumon and E.nopi as my top two options.

c) So why did I pick E.nopi over Kumon? It all boiled down to convenience. Kumon required that I wait for the Parents' Orientation/Briefing scheduled once a month before I could enroll, which meant a two-week wait before Narra could have her assessment test.  E.nopi's process was more straightforward, I was able to schedule a skills assessment test immediately, and the parents' briefing was held right after Narra's assessment. 

It's been 2 weeks since I enrolled Narra, and so far she's excited to complete her workbook exercises, whether in school or at home.  She goes to the center twice a week, and I supervise her homework daily.  So far so good, Narra and her mama are happy :-D  I am not a sales rep for E.nopi / Eye Level, I'm pretty new to the scene, but I thought I'd share this info anyway, there's an on-going promo! 

2-Week Free Study Promo

At A Grand Fiesta While On A Strict Diet & My Story of Faith

Sunday: In front of the family's carrosa bearing the Sto. Niño de Vida Eterna
owned by our nephew Arlo Carsi Cruz Aniag, and his parents Beto and Rina. 

If you asked around, you will hear many stories of little miracles taking place with help from the Sto. Niño, especially when it comes to his fiesta.  Last year, my sister in law Rina, was in pain, and couldn't walk much. But she was going to be the coming year's Hermana Mayor, and had a duty to join the procession.  She managed to walk all over town - her debilitating pain disappeared as though by magic.   This year, she invited us to join the procession, it seemed like it was going to rain, and for a tense few minutes, it started to drizzle...but the sky held together, and the dark clouds disappeared.  I had my own little miracle too.  A very little one, almost not worth mentioning, but it's important to me!  It has to do with my Filipiniana terno, made for me some 15 years ago - a tailor-made, body-hugging red number.  Last minute, I tried it on for size, and to my utter astonishment, it fit me! It's a miracle! 

I'd given up on fitting into that red terno long ago.  I had packed it up for good in a storage box up in the attic at my parents' house.  I was going to wait 15 more years before retrieving it, so I could pass it on to my daughter Narra when she turns 18.  I figured, it would be cool to give her a heritage piece, a vintage terno she can wear to formal Filipiniana affairs.   I last wore that terno in 2003.  Now, some ten years and two kids later, I had the gall to try it on again - that's one thing I love about being on the Cohen Eating Plan, it gives one renewed confidence to revisit old favorites...I have special clothes I couldn't bear to throw or give away - they are stored in the attic in that special place I save for history - which now, with the Cohen Program - has become a space for attires to consider in the near future!!!  As though time warped, I see past, present, and future, collapsing now that the Cohen Program gives my body's growth a chance to follow a non-linear path. Prior to this diet, my body's evolution was set on a discouragingly predictable course: each year meant another inch added to my waistline!  Not this year though. I've lost 4 inches in 4 weeks.  In many ways, I see in a fiesta, the same principle of time collapsing ...  yes, this fiesta is about tradition, and heritage - but it is also a lot about what's current, about trends today, and those to come. In some ways it's about anticipating the future - whether in fashion, floral arrangements, and event styling.  

The hermanas mayores Rina and Bianca Aniag in dramatic Filipiniana gowns.

This year, my sister-in-law wanted a Venetian-themed fiesta, and her Filipiniana terno on Saturday was hot pink and festooned with ostrich feathers. The rest of the gowned ladies in the processional entourage used vibrant hues of deep reds, rich purples, royal blues, shimmery ochre, and emerald green.  I thought Filipiniana meant jusi and piña, and other muted hues similar to parchment paper in old archives.  I was wrong. The prevalent interpretation of Filipiniana at the fiesta was as colorful as glossy pages of the spring issue of a high fashion magazine.  The fiesta felt old and young at the same time; historic but also faddish; solemn and deeply devotional on one level, but also subversively licentious and carnivalesque. That Saturday, I wore a new gown, purple in hue, with a sparkling beaded strap - for the Venetian-themed masquerade-like Testimonial Dinner.  I saw how colorful the palette was, for women's wear, and I knew the traditional piña gown I planned on wearing for the next day, Sunday - the main fiesta day - was possibly going to be out of place. I called my mom in the middle of the night - my ever supportive mom - whose life is modeled after our Lady, Ina ng Laging Saklolo; I asked her to climb up the attic, get my red terno, so I could pass by for it the next day. Sure, it's an old piece, but a bold choice of color back then, but oh, so appropriate now! I prayed it would fit me. Last minute, we passed by my dress on the way to Malolos. I fit it...one button closed, then another, down to my post-pregnancy belly. Moment of truth. Will it fit my waist? It did! Because miracles happen. Because I had faith. In God, in the Sto. Niño, in the Cohen Program!

Saturday procession before the Venetian-themed Testimonial Dinner.
Behind me (left), Rina in her feathered hot-pink terno.

The thing about faith is, it gets stronger if you nurture it.  My faith in the Cohen Program was growing every day, and fitting into old clothes has strengthened my resolve even more. It wasn't too hard to resist all the appetizing food at the fiesta.  There were the usual favorites: Lechon (whole roast pig; and whole roast calf), Kare-Kare, Chicken Galantina, Lengua, Lumpiang Sariwa, Grilled Tuna, Sisig...among others - and sweets! - Leche Flan, Buco Pandan, Fruit Salad, and Sago't Gulaman.  There were festive street food offerings along the procession's path: popcorn sold outside the church; freshly roasted salted peanuts, still hot in their little brown paper bags; cornick! - done Malolos style... I looked at them all and savored the memories they evoked, and admired the way they looked.  Did I regret not eating the food on offer? Nope. Not only because I had faith in the Cohen Program, but also because I had faith in the efficacy of sacrifice as a means to gain divine favor.  Like many other practitioners of folk piety, I joined the rest of Pinoys with their own personal panata (sacred vow).  I offered my little acts of sacrifice - going through the trouble of finding an attire that seemed suitable, even if it meant going out of the way; walking in the heat for hours, in heels, and formal wear, while hungry; and joyfully abstaining from partaking of the sumptuous feast spread before me. 

Fiesta food in abundance - food I did not eat.

I brought my own Cohen-compliant grilled chicken salad and arranged it on a plate - and because it was a fiesta - I made sure to bring festive condiments to match: a bottle of balsamic vinegar, my olive oil spray, and a salt mill - just so I'd have pre-meal rituals to perform, in flavoring my food, while my fellow diners were lining up at the buffet.  I enjoyed my dinner, and crunchy apple for desert - and drank in the atmosphere.  It made me think of the relevance of a fiesta. Observers of a different persuasion may see a lot to criticize.  How can the faithful find God in all this pageantry amidst real poverty? In thinking about this question, I remember an old friend telling me about the etymology of the word "enthusiasm", coming from "En" and "Theos" or, translated, means "in God".  This friend said to be enthusiastic is to be infused with the breath of God.  And there in Malolos, in the unwavering patience of the ever-growing crowd - in their willingness to stand for hours to watch more than 230 carossas snake their way through narrow streets, I saw an unmistakable enthusiasm, so fervent, gripping, and palpable - it made me rethink Marxist notions of the role of religion in keeping the poor in perpetual poverty.  The stories of the most opulently decorated carossas are not always about the landed class and old rich cementing their stature; many (if not a majority) of the grandest carossas are from deeply grateful families with stories of rising from poverty and achieving prosperity.

My Grilled chicken breast with salad (dressed with balsamico and olive oil)
right across from me is the chopping table for the lechon :-D

Motivations for participating in the feast are varied: mostly for thanksgiving, and supplication for prayers to be granted; but also for atonement for sins. There is a desire to restore balance: hermanos gives back to the community after having received so many blessings. Whatever their personal motivations, the enthusiasm is overflowing.  It is seen in the beautifully decorated carrosas, the spirited dancing, frequent fireworks, festive lights and continuous music.  Those with money, spend for food, flowers, fireworks, and fashion - those without money, offer their presence, voice, movement, or skills...and everyone, rich and poor alike, come together for collective prayer.  All these acts of devotion (church-sanctioned or otherwise) change the energy of the city, shaking the vibes of even the saddest corners of the town.  Elsewhere in Southeast Asia, festivals are also held to restore balance - in Bali, to name just one example, the island resets during Nyepi, and establishments close, and everyone takes a break from serving tourists, as the locals focus on performing rituals in honor of the spirits.  In Malolos, too, one gets the feeling of the city re-charging. Old houses have their windows open, with their residents out on the  balconies. Santo Niño images hidden indoors in private altars, are taken out to the streets to be recharged with the energy of fervent and publicly displayed collective belief.  Fiesta time is an opportunity for renewal of the public and private kind.

Oliver and I, on stage, watching the grand procession of more than 230
uniquely decorated carros  pass before us. We were hungry, but happy.

This too, is how I view my Cohen Program - it is like my own personal fiesta - a means to restore balance, and change the energy of my body, and shake up the saddest corners of my being.  I am only a month into the program, and already, I find myself enthused, as I haven't been in a long time.  The fact that I was able to fit into an old terno from long ago isn't the only miracle... there is an even bigger one.  To be enthused is to be infused with the breath of God. And wearing my red gown, at this fiesta, was not really about clothes - it was about restored faith... (and this time I am not referring to my belief in the science of Dr. Cohen)... I am rediscovering my beauty from within, and I am truly believing again, that I am made in the image and likeness of God, and I am rediscovering dormant aspects of my spirituality.  To have fatty parts is to be human. To have faith and enthusiasm, is divine.  I thought going to a grand fiesta while on a strict diet was going to be hell. But in the end, it turned out to be a heavenly experience. The spirited participation of everyone present, myself included, permeated my skin, and I feel fired up inside. I want to do so many things right now - to work, to move, to write, to learn, to love, to live!  It's a miracle. Thank you Santo Niño! Viva!!!  

My Diet-Friendly Apple Tartlets and the Joys of Snacking While Working

My apple tartlets, out of the muffin pan, and
off to the fridge.

I have a deadline to meet, and a paper to finish for an important conference.  I'm two weeks into my Cohen Program, and I was wondering how I can survive long hours of sitting, reading, and writing, without resorting to my usual practice of munching as I mull over my ideas and compose my thoughts.   I decided to surf the net for a recipe for a snack I could work on, while I worked on my paper.  And I found this recipe for making apple tartlets out of the usual cracker and fruit allowance. I was excited to embark on a Cohen kitchen adventure.  So here's how it went...

The main ingredients: Jacob's crackers and apples.

I started by reading a book.  I sat quietly for a bit until I stumbled into a very exciting idea that was useful for the main argument of my paper.  I was excited!  I scribbled notes, and put the book down. I had to stand up and do something with my hands while I tried to find ways to articulate in words the connection I was making in my head, between the idea I read, and my own topic.  I stood up, and started slicing apples into wedges, peeling off the skin, cutting and dicing, and putting them in a pot of water. I added some splenda, and a stick of cinnamon, and turned on the stove.  I went back to my seat. Wrote a sentence, one all important sentence that contained a major argument. As the apples stewed in the pot, I let my argument simmer for a bit.  I continued reading, quietly, until I stumbled into another exciting passage.  I scribbled down a quote. I got excited again. Stood up, and started pounding some crackers, 2 pieces of Jacob's Hi-Cal Original at a time.  I moistened the crumbs with some diet soda so they would adhere,  I sprayed some Pam on my muffin pan, and spooned the crumb-mixture evenly.  I popped them in the oven to let them bake for a bit.  I sat down, and scribbled a sentence. A second all-important sentence in my developing outline.  The scent of apples and cinnamon created such an invitingly warm atmosphere in the kitchen.  I was happy to be stationed on the dining table, with all my books and papers before me. I started to read, again.

Freshly baked apple tartlets right out of the pan!

I stumbled into another great idea from yet another book, and had to stand up again, to compose my thoughts, and carefully word yet another argument.   I busied my hands with draining the stewed apples from the pot, and spooning them into the cups of the muffin pan, then popping them into the oven.  As my apple tartlets baked, I spoke to myself, trying out different ways to phrase, as precisely as I can, the idea I can see clearly in my head but couldn't quite convey in words just yet.  I was muttering as I worked my way from the stove, to the sink, to the kitchen counter, cleaning up the mess I made as I attempted to de-clutter my brain and focus my thoughts.  I sat down, got a clean sheet of paper, and looked at all the notes I've scribbled... I began writing a fresh, new outline.  And there it was. An outline. A skeletal structure to be fleshed out in detail in the hours and days to come.  It's best to take a break, to let my ideas bake.  I packed up my pad, and closed my books, and prepared my placemat for a sacred ritual - it was time for my rewarding snack.  

My rewarding coffee break.

I heated some water, and scooped some freshly ground coffee into my Bodum single-serve/in-cup French coffee press (my new best friend!!).   As my coffee steeped, I carefully lifted two, piping hot apple tartlets out of the muffin pan, and lay them tenderly on my plate.  The rest, I transfered into a Lock and Lock container so I could store them for my writing sessions tomorrow.  Then, I finally sat down, took a tiny desert fork, and cut into my warm tartlet, and had a very rewarding moment.  It felt like cutting into a piece of apple pie.  The act of slicing, and scooping up, and smelling the scent of apples and cinnamon - it was divine!   And I was happy to eat only two tiny tartlets, flavored subtly. It reminds me of the new lifestyle I wish to embrace - the Cohen way...  the joys of snacking need not involve huge quantities of food and copious amounts of sugar.  I cut the tartlets into quarters, and had 8, fully-savored mouthfuls of stewed apples on a warm crust.  Partnered with coffee, it was sheer bliss.

I had a great afternoon.  I got my work done, and managed to incorporate food in my thinking process in a healthier way.  To top it off, my daughter Narra, saw me working and baking, and she copied me. She sat down and scribbled with her pen and crayons, and shadowed me in the kitchen...and when the snack was done, she asked me for a piece - ha!!! My picky little eater has been asking me for food since I started the Cohen program and paid attention to my own food, more than to hers.  It's been hard concentrating on writing papers when the kids were running around the house, but with my apple tartlet project anchoring me to the kitchen, I found the focus my work badly required and deserved.  I think the discipline required by the Cohen program has unlocked my hidden reserves of will power - allowing me to become disciplined in other aspects of my life, such as my academic writing.

I'm looking forward to writing again tomorrow.  I decided not to write throughout the night, the way I used to. I need to sleep (part of the Cohen prescription). And midnight work often involves midnight snacks, and I'm not going to set myself up for failure by staying up late, and working up an appetite. Nope. Discipline. I will sleep at night, and work in the morning. And I know some nice apple tartlets are waiting for me when I earn my morning coffee break.

Free Play: Sunday at the Park in High Street

Yaya Gigi, teaching Narra the basics of "Piko".

On the first weekend of the year, we wanted to do something fun and active, without resorting to the usual pastime of shopping and eating out.  We decided to bring out of the house our new puppy, Jack (a Jack Russel terrier).  We put him in his carrier, and headed off to pet-friendly Bonifacio High Street. We headed to the recreational area on the south side.  Oliver and I first stumbled upon this park a couple of months ago, and we vowed to return with the kids... and now, with our new dog. I just love this park and all the good things it stands for.  It stands for a "breather" in a congested metropolis smothered in concrete.  It stands for "common good", over commercial interest - this park sits on prime property that costs millions!  (I believe this is an Ayala Land project. It surely bears their signature sophistication, intelligence, and commitment to improving the quality of life of the mall-going public).  And with play space designated for Pinoy folk games, this park stands out to me, as a symbol for bridging generations, and allowing children of the past to play with children of the present, so they may keep alive the games of old.  Coming here made me feel happy, reminding me of my very enjoyable Pinoy childhood.

At the Patintero lawn - though our kids are too young to play the game.

I had the great fortune of growing up with street games: piko, patintero, taguan, langit-lupa, luksong tinik,  habulan, "chinese garter", "doctor quack-quack" and agawan base among others.  This was right around the time computer games were just finding their way into our homes in the early 1980's. But even after Ataris and Nintendo Family Computers dominated the scene in terms of indoor entertainment, the frequent blackouts (or in Pinoy-speak: brown-outs) of the late 80's to early 90's left a lot of room for traditional games to flourish.  I remember playing with neighbors, classmates, and cousins... out on the streets, or at the school quadrangle or playground, or  even during family parties and outings.  I simply assumed that these games will self-perpetuate... that every generation will come to know them, naturally.  I am beginning to rethink this assumption.  I've been asking my students in the last few years if they knew some folk games - and I'd enumerate the ones I know.  To my surprise, my students knew only a minority - and not a majority (as I had hoped) of the games I grew up with.  I really couldn't blame them.  I myself, am forgetting the rules of the games I used to play with passion.  Which is why I loved coming to this park on High Street.  It forced me remember what I was beginning to forget.  I had to rely on Yaya Gigi and Yaya Jen to refresh my memory.  I had to ask for a tutorial on the mechanics of "piko".  Yaya Gigi picked up a stone from the ground, and started teaching Narra and I how to do it.   We reviewed the rules of Patintero, but the kids were too young to play it. Maybe in a few more years... For now, they're better off in the playground.

Narra and Guijo at the whimsical playground south of High Street.

And what a fun playground it is!  The usual swings, slides, monkey bars, and seesaw are there - with a twist - literally!  The design of the playground equipment incorporates a lot of curving lines, and swirls, and twists, creating a re-imagined, whimsical version of the standard equipment.  The swings, for instance, do not simply hang from bars, they hang from looping arches painted in fire truck red.  Next to the swing is a swirly slide, done in sunny yellow - it functions every bit like a typical slide, but does not have the usual straight ladder leading up.  The monkey bars are similarly provocative, and inviting. Narra and Guijo were content to monkey around the bars for nearly an hour, repeatedly climbing up and down until they've mastered the equipment.  

Narra, on her favorite twisty monkey bars.

So inviting was the playground that even the Yayas were obviously enjoying themselves.  I felt glad to see Yaya Gigi enjoying herself.   God knows she needs a break, after all the family troubles she's needed to address in recent months.  Seeing her relax, even just for a bit, seeing her like this - childlike and carefree, makes  me feel that playgrounds are necessary social spaces... they are not merely "nice-to-haves"... they are "need-to-do's".  This reminds me of an old family story of my aunt, my mother's youngest sibling, who was visiting Manila as a little girl from Bicol in the early 1970's.  My father drove her to the playground near Manila Zoo...and she called it "paradise".  It's not a great story, really, just an anecdote - but I remember it often because I pass by that playground regularly, and each time I see it, in it's current overused and grimy state, with the paint worn off on the old equipment, with the dusty ground where no grass grows, the overflowing trash cans and the sweet-sour stench of the sewers underneath - I remember my aunt, and how she once called this place "paradise".   Seeing Yaya Gigi made me think of the same word - "paradise".  To be free from all the cares in the world, to be having fun, and smiling from that place within our being where our inner child resides, isn't that heavenly?

Yaya Gigi, happily monkeying around too.

I had just started on my Cohen Program and I was strictly following my food prescription.  It's only been a few days into my new diet, and as I reduced my food intake, the toxins hoarded by my fat cells were being released, and I was getting headaches.  The walk at the park really helped clear my head. Seeing so many people jogging, healthy and fit folk, encouraged me to persist in pursuing my resolution to put my health on top of my list of priorities this year.  I want to feel as light and agile as my kids, as I used to be.  I tried swinging on the monkey bars for a bit and my body felt so foreign - so heavy and sluggish.  I felt old. And I don't want to feel old anymore. So weight loss is the first step, so I can return to a more active lifestyle, with sport and dance back in the picture.  I am so looking forward to having more fun and exercise this year... to feel light and free when I play with my kids, to no longer feel dead on my feet... to see paradise in a playground!

Guijo, a picture of pure exuberance as he floats mid-air.

For now, I can't do much exercise just yet, not while I'm on a very restrictive eating plan.  I'll have to be happy with slow walks in the park, and engage in recreational activities that do not gravitate towards food. So far, so good, it seems we can work out newer patterns of leisure.  And with parks like the one south of High Street, with the landscaped paths, artful trash bins, and engagingly designed spaces, we can while away the weekend engaged in free play.  One weekend down, 50 more to go in 2013...may all the weekends to come be as lovely as this.