Celebrating Our Children's First Birthdays and Why We Choose To Travel

Narra's First Birthday, Hong Kong, 2009.

There's something about taking a trip that cements a family together.  Of course, parents bond with their children every day - but in the act of traveling, I get that sense that a family gets to bond even more - in a special way beyond the usual.  I do know from experience, that the best moments of my life were spent in transit - on a plane, train, boat, and car - and I was confined in small spaces with the people I loved - and just outside our windows, the world was unfolding before our very eyes.  I yearn to travel, always, for as  long as I can, and for as much as I can.  So when Oliver suggested that instead of having a birthday bash he'd rather plan a trip for our children's first birthdays, I was in complete agreement!  For Narra's first birthday we took a trip to Hong Kong Disneyland in 2009.  And for Guijo's first birthday in a few days' time, we'll be off to Singapore to visit Universal Studios.  

Narra and I in Hong Kong Disneyland.

Before getting married, Oliver lived in Hong Kong as an expatriate, while I lived in Singapore finishing my doctorate at NUS.  Throughout our 5-year long-distance relationship, we frequently traveled to see each other, he visited me in Singapore, and I visited him in Hong Kong.  Re-visiting these countries with our children allows us to reconnect with the cities we once called home - giving us a chance to retrace our steps in our old haunts, and to see what new developments have taken place in our absence. It is a means of passing on to our children, what knowledge we have of a supposedly foreign place that has become familiar territory. We know the train system and the stops, and we claim some stations as "ours"- stations that hold special significance because they were closest to our doorsteps. 

Oliver and Narra, HK Train.

One thing I love about these kinds of trips is the increased physical contact among family members. As a mother, I have a built-in advantage over my husband when it comes to physical intimacy: my children were nurtured inside my womb, and outside through thousands of hours of breast feeding.  When we travel, I see Oliver enjoying prolonged contact with our kids, and I see them becoming attuned to each other's bodies, learning each other's gestural habits and choreographic quirks.  Sure, he sees his kids a lot, on regular days - but it is only when we travel, and we don't have our usual comforts, like our own vehicles and many helping hands, that we are forced to be even more mindful of our kids.  It is easy to have moments of ignoring family in the context of the every day grind - but on trips, when we are bursting with enthusiasm to show this and that, attention is heaped on our kids and on each other, more intensely, and there's an unending supply of observations, insights, analyses, reflections and recollections to share.  We do not run out of things to say, and our stories and conversations flow freely.

Oliver, with our sleeping baby, HK Disneyland.

It can be tiring and trying to travel with spouse, kids, and baby gear, and annoyance with one another is unavoidable, of course.  Indeed, traveling can be a stressful situation, a volatile one that has the capacity to erupt to epic proportions.  I've seen my fair share of irate travelers on the verge of a nervous breakdown in many airports and trains.  From my personal experience, however, I've seen how travel compresses time, and speeds up reconciliation. In my family (both the one I was born into, and the one Oliver and I established), travel time fights tend to be resolved faster because the common goal of making the most out of the trip supercedes individual gripes.  I've seen my loved ones making the conscious effort to shake off anger and annoyance because we were on a trip and they didn't want to ruin the moment.   

Narra enjoying her cake after blowing out her candle.

Each person has many versions of who they are depending on where they are and who they're with, and I think, traveling for leisure with family creates the space for us to be the best versions of ourselves.  We allow ourselves to be infused with child-like enthusiasm and excitement.  We go to theme parks with every intention of enjoying the moment.  We are cognizant of the fact that we are seizing the day, making the most out of the precious few years when our kids are still babies, knowing full well that we are making memories, that every snapshot is for posterity, with older versions of ourselves in the far-off future as our intended audience.  

Taking a stroll on an elevated walkway, Central HK.

So we choose to make time to travel, and we pounce on the opportunity to do so when milestones such as our children's first birthdays merit some sort of celebration. We find in traveling, a profoundly meaningful way to celebrate  our children, and our family. It is a form of history-building, a nuclear family's intimate micro-history, and the pictures we take will be saved in our archives. Travel memorabilia will go into our trunk of happiness which I envision to be a repository of feel-good artifacts to give ourselves and our children a lifetime supply of hope, joy, and gratitude.

It's your turn Guijo. Dalawang tulog na lang anak, at lilipad na tayo. Singapore, here we come!