Nikki's Nurturance: 2011 Reconsidered: Remembering the High Points of a Horrible Year

House Blessing of our new condo. Blessed by Fr. Manny Serranilla
on December 8, 2011.

There are years that feel more triumphant than others, you file them in a special drawer in your brain, the one reserved for fond remembrances. Then there are the not-so-good years, the really tough ones you end up filing away in the drawer of disappointment - or worse - the drawer of grief. More often, however, the years that pass defy neat filing, when the good and the bad are intertwined. 2011 had the makings of a horrible year. I cried many tears this year, more than at any other year in my charmed life. It was a year of great losses: I said good bye to family members who died; and I said good bye to DLSU, my home for half of my life, because my teaching stint had come to an end. I want to file away 2011 in the bottom drawer of my mind, the one labeled "Years I Wish To Forget", but I can't - and I shouldn't. There are many blessed moments. And I am thankful I took photos of those happy times, so I can remember the good, when I feel overwhelmed by the bad.

Narra's 2nd Birthday. May, 2011.

At the start of the year I was ordered on bed rest for a month. I spent January lying down, when the viability of my pregnancy was in question. I kept praying that my son would hold on for dear life - that he would stick to my womb and grow! And grow he did! God answered my prayers. By my second trimester my son's vital signs were strong, and I felt strong too, enough to travel around! We celebrated Narra's 2nd birthday with a party held in May, and traveled to Bangkok in June, and Pearl Farm in Davao in July. Compared to my first pregnancy, when I felt so short-of-breath that I couldn't even walk through a grocery without needing to sit, this second pregnancy is a blessing! I was able to shop through Chatuchak market in Bangkok, for an entire afternoon. Childbirth was quick and easy, and our baby Guijo came out healthy and strong.

7 months pregnant. Oliver and I had an 8-day break in Bangkok.

8 months pregnant. Pearl Farm, Davao.

When trials struck our family in September with the death of Oliver's brother, Owen; followed too soon by the unexpected death of his Aunt Boots in October, we broke the succession of funerals with twin baptisms! Guijo and his cousin Marco were baptized in October 23. And the next day, on October 24, I received my most cherished Wang Gung Wu Medal and Prize for Best Dissertation in the Social Sciences and Humanities from the National University of Singapore. My career may be in limbo at the moment, but the award is validation of my potential as a scholar. It is the biggest cash prize I have received in my life, and the biggest affirmation and recognition of the value of my original ideas. How can I not feel inspired?

Guijo's Baptism, held October 23rd. Christ the King Church.

Oliver managed to complete an awesome house-building project through the last few tumultuous months of the year. In collaboration with his sister Riza, who is our interior designer and contractor, he renovated and furnished a condo unit we recently acquired. In just a few weeks time, the empty box with plain walls, was transformed into a thoughtfully designed, efficient, and elegant hideaway. We had our condo blessing on December 8, and we spent our holidays vacationing in our new home. We spent New Year's eve enjoying the panoramic view of fireworks from all over the metro, popping in concert, building up to an exciting crescendo as midnight approached. There, from our high-floor balcony, as we heard the explosions, I thought of how fireworks - with their sounds and blinding light - exorcise the demons of the past year, severing them from our system so they do not haunt us in the new year. There, I allowed myself to feel like a kid, to watch the fireworks in awe and delight, despite the smog and pollution they caused. I allowed myself to feel hope and inspiration. I said a peaceful goodbye to the year that passed - forgiving the year for the pain it brought, and thanking it for the many joys and triumphs too.