At A Grand Fiesta While On A Strict Diet & My Story of Faith

Sunday: In front of the family's carrosa bearing the Sto. Niño de Vida Eterna
owned by our nephew Arlo Carsi Cruz Aniag, and his parents Beto and Rina. 

If you asked around, you will hear many stories of little miracles taking place with help from the Sto. Niño, especially when it comes to his fiesta.  Last year, my sister in law Rina, was in pain, and couldn't walk much. But she was going to be the coming year's Hermana Mayor, and had a duty to join the procession.  She managed to walk all over town - her debilitating pain disappeared as though by magic.   This year, she invited us to join the procession, it seemed like it was going to rain, and for a tense few minutes, it started to drizzle...but the sky held together, and the dark clouds disappeared.  I had my own little miracle too.  A very little one, almost not worth mentioning, but it's important to me!  It has to do with my Filipiniana terno, made for me some 15 years ago - a tailor-made, body-hugging red number.  Last minute, I tried it on for size, and to my utter astonishment, it fit me! It's a miracle! 

I'd given up on fitting into that red terno long ago.  I had packed it up for good in a storage box up in the attic at my parents' house.  I was going to wait 15 more years before retrieving it, so I could pass it on to my daughter Narra when she turns 18.  I figured, it would be cool to give her a heritage piece, a vintage terno she can wear to formal Filipiniana affairs.   I last wore that terno in 2003.  Now, some ten years and two kids later, I had the gall to try it on again - that's one thing I love about being on the Cohen Eating Plan, it gives one renewed confidence to revisit old favorites...I have special clothes I couldn't bear to throw or give away - they are stored in the attic in that special place I save for history - which now, with the Cohen Program - has become a space for attires to consider in the near future!!!  As though time warped, I see past, present, and future, collapsing now that the Cohen Program gives my body's growth a chance to follow a non-linear path. Prior to this diet, my body's evolution was set on a discouragingly predictable course: each year meant another inch added to my waistline!  Not this year though. I've lost 4 inches in 4 weeks.  In many ways, I see in a fiesta, the same principle of time collapsing ...  yes, this fiesta is about tradition, and heritage - but it is also a lot about what's current, about trends today, and those to come. In some ways it's about anticipating the future - whether in fashion, floral arrangements, and event styling.  

The hermanas mayores Rina and Bianca Aniag in dramatic Filipiniana gowns.

This year, my sister-in-law wanted a Venetian-themed fiesta, and her Filipiniana terno on Saturday was hot pink and festooned with ostrich feathers. The rest of the gowned ladies in the processional entourage used vibrant hues of deep reds, rich purples, royal blues, shimmery ochre, and emerald green.  I thought Filipiniana meant jusi and piña, and other muted hues similar to parchment paper in old archives.  I was wrong. The prevalent interpretation of Filipiniana at the fiesta was as colorful as glossy pages of the spring issue of a high fashion magazine.  The fiesta felt old and young at the same time; historic but also faddish; solemn and deeply devotional on one level, but also subversively licentious and carnivalesque. That Saturday, I wore a new gown, purple in hue, with a sparkling beaded strap - for the Venetian-themed masquerade-like Testimonial Dinner.  I saw how colorful the palette was, for women's wear, and I knew the traditional piña gown I planned on wearing for the next day, Sunday - the main fiesta day - was possibly going to be out of place. I called my mom in the middle of the night - my ever supportive mom - whose life is modeled after our Lady, Ina ng Laging Saklolo; I asked her to climb up the attic, get my red terno, so I could pass by for it the next day. Sure, it's an old piece, but a bold choice of color back then, but oh, so appropriate now! I prayed it would fit me. Last minute, we passed by my dress on the way to Malolos. I fit it...one button closed, then another, down to my post-pregnancy belly. Moment of truth. Will it fit my waist? It did! Because miracles happen. Because I had faith. In God, in the Sto. Niño, in the Cohen Program!

Saturday procession before the Venetian-themed Testimonial Dinner.
Behind me (left), Rina in her feathered hot-pink terno.

The thing about faith is, it gets stronger if you nurture it.  My faith in the Cohen Program was growing every day, and fitting into old clothes has strengthened my resolve even more. It wasn't too hard to resist all the appetizing food at the fiesta.  There were the usual favorites: Lechon (whole roast pig; and whole roast calf), Kare-Kare, Chicken Galantina, Lengua, Lumpiang Sariwa, Grilled Tuna, Sisig...among others - and sweets! - Leche Flan, Buco Pandan, Fruit Salad, and Sago't Gulaman.  There were festive street food offerings along the procession's path: popcorn sold outside the church; freshly roasted salted peanuts, still hot in their little brown paper bags; cornick! - done Malolos style... I looked at them all and savored the memories they evoked, and admired the way they looked.  Did I regret not eating the food on offer? Nope. Not only because I had faith in the Cohen Program, but also because I had faith in the efficacy of sacrifice as a means to gain divine favor.  Like many other practitioners of folk piety, I joined the rest of Pinoys with their own personal panata (sacred vow).  I offered my little acts of sacrifice - going through the trouble of finding an attire that seemed suitable, even if it meant going out of the way; walking in the heat for hours, in heels, and formal wear, while hungry; and joyfully abstaining from partaking of the sumptuous feast spread before me. 

Fiesta food in abundance - food I did not eat.

I brought my own Cohen-compliant grilled chicken salad and arranged it on a plate - and because it was a fiesta - I made sure to bring festive condiments to match: a bottle of balsamic vinegar, my olive oil spray, and a salt mill - just so I'd have pre-meal rituals to perform, in flavoring my food, while my fellow diners were lining up at the buffet.  I enjoyed my dinner, and crunchy apple for desert - and drank in the atmosphere.  It made me think of the relevance of a fiesta. Observers of a different persuasion may see a lot to criticize.  How can the faithful find God in all this pageantry amidst real poverty? In thinking about this question, I remember an old friend telling me about the etymology of the word "enthusiasm", coming from "En" and "Theos" or, translated, means "in God".  This friend said to be enthusiastic is to be infused with the breath of God.  And there in Malolos, in the unwavering patience of the ever-growing crowd - in their willingness to stand for hours to watch more than 230 carossas snake their way through narrow streets, I saw an unmistakable enthusiasm, so fervent, gripping, and palpable - it made me rethink Marxist notions of the role of religion in keeping the poor in perpetual poverty.  The stories of the most opulently decorated carossas are not always about the landed class and old rich cementing their stature; many (if not a majority) of the grandest carossas are from deeply grateful families with stories of rising from poverty and achieving prosperity.

My Grilled chicken breast with salad (dressed with balsamico and olive oil)
right across from me is the chopping table for the lechon :-D

Motivations for participating in the feast are varied: mostly for thanksgiving, and supplication for prayers to be granted; but also for atonement for sins. There is a desire to restore balance: hermanos gives back to the community after having received so many blessings. Whatever their personal motivations, the enthusiasm is overflowing.  It is seen in the beautifully decorated carrosas, the spirited dancing, frequent fireworks, festive lights and continuous music.  Those with money, spend for food, flowers, fireworks, and fashion - those without money, offer their presence, voice, movement, or skills...and everyone, rich and poor alike, come together for collective prayer.  All these acts of devotion (church-sanctioned or otherwise) change the energy of the city, shaking the vibes of even the saddest corners of the town.  Elsewhere in Southeast Asia, festivals are also held to restore balance - in Bali, to name just one example, the island resets during Nyepi, and establishments close, and everyone takes a break from serving tourists, as the locals focus on performing rituals in honor of the spirits.  In Malolos, too, one gets the feeling of the city re-charging. Old houses have their windows open, with their residents out on the  balconies. Santo Niño images hidden indoors in private altars, are taken out to the streets to be recharged with the energy of fervent and publicly displayed collective belief.  Fiesta time is an opportunity for renewal of the public and private kind.

Oliver and I, on stage, watching the grand procession of more than 230
uniquely decorated carros  pass before us. We were hungry, but happy.

This too, is how I view my Cohen Program - it is like my own personal fiesta - a means to restore balance, and change the energy of my body, and shake up the saddest corners of my being.  I am only a month into the program, and already, I find myself enthused, as I haven't been in a long time.  The fact that I was able to fit into an old terno from long ago isn't the only miracle... there is an even bigger one.  To be enthused is to be infused with the breath of God. And wearing my red gown, at this fiesta, was not really about clothes - it was about restored faith... (and this time I am not referring to my belief in the science of Dr. Cohen)... I am rediscovering my beauty from within, and I am truly believing again, that I am made in the image and likeness of God, and I am rediscovering dormant aspects of my spirituality.  To have fatty parts is to be human. To have faith and enthusiasm, is divine.  I thought going to a grand fiesta while on a strict diet was going to be hell. But in the end, it turned out to be a heavenly experience. The spirited participation of everyone present, myself included, permeated my skin, and I feel fired up inside. I want to do so many things right now - to work, to move, to write, to learn, to love, to live!  It's a miracle. Thank you Santo Niño! Viva!!!  

My Diet-Friendly Apple Tartlets and the Joys of Snacking While Working

My apple tartlets, out of the muffin pan, and
off to the fridge.

I have a deadline to meet, and a paper to finish for an important conference.  I'm two weeks into my Cohen Program, and I was wondering how I can survive long hours of sitting, reading, and writing, without resorting to my usual practice of munching as I mull over my ideas and compose my thoughts.   I decided to surf the net for a recipe for a snack I could work on, while I worked on my paper.  And I found this recipe for making apple tartlets out of the usual cracker and fruit allowance. I was excited to embark on a Cohen kitchen adventure.  So here's how it went...

The main ingredients: Jacob's crackers and apples.

I started by reading a book.  I sat quietly for a bit until I stumbled into a very exciting idea that was useful for the main argument of my paper.  I was excited!  I scribbled notes, and put the book down. I had to stand up and do something with my hands while I tried to find ways to articulate in words the connection I was making in my head, between the idea I read, and my own topic.  I stood up, and started slicing apples into wedges, peeling off the skin, cutting and dicing, and putting them in a pot of water. I added some splenda, and a stick of cinnamon, and turned on the stove.  I went back to my seat. Wrote a sentence, one all important sentence that contained a major argument. As the apples stewed in the pot, I let my argument simmer for a bit.  I continued reading, quietly, until I stumbled into another exciting passage.  I scribbled down a quote. I got excited again. Stood up, and started pounding some crackers, 2 pieces of Jacob's Hi-Cal Original at a time.  I moistened the crumbs with some diet soda so they would adhere,  I sprayed some Pam on my muffin pan, and spooned the crumb-mixture evenly.  I popped them in the oven to let them bake for a bit.  I sat down, and scribbled a sentence. A second all-important sentence in my developing outline.  The scent of apples and cinnamon created such an invitingly warm atmosphere in the kitchen.  I was happy to be stationed on the dining table, with all my books and papers before me. I started to read, again.

Freshly baked apple tartlets right out of the pan!

I stumbled into another great idea from yet another book, and had to stand up again, to compose my thoughts, and carefully word yet another argument.   I busied my hands with draining the stewed apples from the pot, and spooning them into the cups of the muffin pan, then popping them into the oven.  As my apple tartlets baked, I spoke to myself, trying out different ways to phrase, as precisely as I can, the idea I can see clearly in my head but couldn't quite convey in words just yet.  I was muttering as I worked my way from the stove, to the sink, to the kitchen counter, cleaning up the mess I made as I attempted to de-clutter my brain and focus my thoughts.  I sat down, got a clean sheet of paper, and looked at all the notes I've scribbled... I began writing a fresh, new outline.  And there it was. An outline. A skeletal structure to be fleshed out in detail in the hours and days to come.  It's best to take a break, to let my ideas bake.  I packed up my pad, and closed my books, and prepared my placemat for a sacred ritual - it was time for my rewarding snack.  

My rewarding coffee break.

I heated some water, and scooped some freshly ground coffee into my Bodum single-serve/in-cup French coffee press (my new best friend!!).   As my coffee steeped, I carefully lifted two, piping hot apple tartlets out of the muffin pan, and lay them tenderly on my plate.  The rest, I transfered into a Lock and Lock container so I could store them for my writing sessions tomorrow.  Then, I finally sat down, took a tiny desert fork, and cut into my warm tartlet, and had a very rewarding moment.  It felt like cutting into a piece of apple pie.  The act of slicing, and scooping up, and smelling the scent of apples and cinnamon - it was divine!   And I was happy to eat only two tiny tartlets, flavored subtly. It reminds me of the new lifestyle I wish to embrace - the Cohen way...  the joys of snacking need not involve huge quantities of food and copious amounts of sugar.  I cut the tartlets into quarters, and had 8, fully-savored mouthfuls of stewed apples on a warm crust.  Partnered with coffee, it was sheer bliss.

I had a great afternoon.  I got my work done, and managed to incorporate food in my thinking process in a healthier way.  To top it off, my daughter Narra, saw me working and baking, and she copied me. She sat down and scribbled with her pen and crayons, and shadowed me in the kitchen...and when the snack was done, she asked me for a piece - ha!!! My picky little eater has been asking me for food since I started the Cohen program and paid attention to my own food, more than to hers.  It's been hard concentrating on writing papers when the kids were running around the house, but with my apple tartlet project anchoring me to the kitchen, I found the focus my work badly required and deserved.  I think the discipline required by the Cohen program has unlocked my hidden reserves of will power - allowing me to become disciplined in other aspects of my life, such as my academic writing.

I'm looking forward to writing again tomorrow.  I decided not to write throughout the night, the way I used to. I need to sleep (part of the Cohen prescription). And midnight work often involves midnight snacks, and I'm not going to set myself up for failure by staying up late, and working up an appetite. Nope. Discipline. I will sleep at night, and work in the morning. And I know some nice apple tartlets are waiting for me when I earn my morning coffee break.

Free Play: Sunday at the Park in High Street

Yaya Gigi, teaching Narra the basics of "Piko".

On the first weekend of the year, we wanted to do something fun and active, without resorting to the usual pastime of shopping and eating out.  We decided to bring out of the house our new puppy, Jack (a Jack Russel terrier).  We put him in his carrier, and headed off to pet-friendly Bonifacio High Street. We headed to the recreational area on the south side.  Oliver and I first stumbled upon this park a couple of months ago, and we vowed to return with the kids... and now, with our new dog. I just love this park and all the good things it stands for.  It stands for a "breather" in a congested metropolis smothered in concrete.  It stands for "common good", over commercial interest - this park sits on prime property that costs millions!  (I believe this is an Ayala Land project. It surely bears their signature sophistication, intelligence, and commitment to improving the quality of life of the mall-going public).  And with play space designated for Pinoy folk games, this park stands out to me, as a symbol for bridging generations, and allowing children of the past to play with children of the present, so they may keep alive the games of old.  Coming here made me feel happy, reminding me of my very enjoyable Pinoy childhood.

At the Patintero lawn - though our kids are too young to play the game.

I had the great fortune of growing up with street games: piko, patintero, taguan, langit-lupa, luksong tinik,  habulan, "chinese garter", "doctor quack-quack" and agawan base among others.  This was right around the time computer games were just finding their way into our homes in the early 1980's. But even after Ataris and Nintendo Family Computers dominated the scene in terms of indoor entertainment, the frequent blackouts (or in Pinoy-speak: brown-outs) of the late 80's to early 90's left a lot of room for traditional games to flourish.  I remember playing with neighbors, classmates, and cousins... out on the streets, or at the school quadrangle or playground, or  even during family parties and outings.  I simply assumed that these games will self-perpetuate... that every generation will come to know them, naturally.  I am beginning to rethink this assumption.  I've been asking my students in the last few years if they knew some folk games - and I'd enumerate the ones I know.  To my surprise, my students knew only a minority - and not a majority (as I had hoped) of the games I grew up with.  I really couldn't blame them.  I myself, am forgetting the rules of the games I used to play with passion.  Which is why I loved coming to this park on High Street.  It forced me remember what I was beginning to forget.  I had to rely on Yaya Gigi and Yaya Jen to refresh my memory.  I had to ask for a tutorial on the mechanics of "piko".  Yaya Gigi picked up a stone from the ground, and started teaching Narra and I how to do it.   We reviewed the rules of Patintero, but the kids were too young to play it. Maybe in a few more years... For now, they're better off in the playground.

Narra and Guijo at the whimsical playground south of High Street.

And what a fun playground it is!  The usual swings, slides, monkey bars, and seesaw are there - with a twist - literally!  The design of the playground equipment incorporates a lot of curving lines, and swirls, and twists, creating a re-imagined, whimsical version of the standard equipment.  The swings, for instance, do not simply hang from bars, they hang from looping arches painted in fire truck red.  Next to the swing is a swirly slide, done in sunny yellow - it functions every bit like a typical slide, but does not have the usual straight ladder leading up.  The monkey bars are similarly provocative, and inviting. Narra and Guijo were content to monkey around the bars for nearly an hour, repeatedly climbing up and down until they've mastered the equipment.  

Narra, on her favorite twisty monkey bars.

So inviting was the playground that even the Yayas were obviously enjoying themselves.  I felt glad to see Yaya Gigi enjoying herself.   God knows she needs a break, after all the family troubles she's needed to address in recent months.  Seeing her relax, even just for a bit, seeing her like this - childlike and carefree, makes  me feel that playgrounds are necessary social spaces... they are not merely "nice-to-haves"... they are "need-to-do's".  This reminds me of an old family story of my aunt, my mother's youngest sibling, who was visiting Manila as a little girl from Bicol in the early 1970's.  My father drove her to the playground near Manila Zoo...and she called it "paradise".  It's not a great story, really, just an anecdote - but I remember it often because I pass by that playground regularly, and each time I see it, in it's current overused and grimy state, with the paint worn off on the old equipment, with the dusty ground where no grass grows, the overflowing trash cans and the sweet-sour stench of the sewers underneath - I remember my aunt, and how she once called this place "paradise".   Seeing Yaya Gigi made me think of the same word - "paradise".  To be free from all the cares in the world, to be having fun, and smiling from that place within our being where our inner child resides, isn't that heavenly?

Yaya Gigi, happily monkeying around too.

I had just started on my Cohen Program and I was strictly following my food prescription.  It's only been a few days into my new diet, and as I reduced my food intake, the toxins hoarded by my fat cells were being released, and I was getting headaches.  The walk at the park really helped clear my head. Seeing so many people jogging, healthy and fit folk, encouraged me to persist in pursuing my resolution to put my health on top of my list of priorities this year.  I want to feel as light and agile as my kids, as I used to be.  I tried swinging on the monkey bars for a bit and my body felt so foreign - so heavy and sluggish.  I felt old. And I don't want to feel old anymore. So weight loss is the first step, so I can return to a more active lifestyle, with sport and dance back in the picture.  I am so looking forward to having more fun and exercise this year... to feel light and free when I play with my kids, to no longer feel dead on my feet... to see paradise in a playground!

Guijo, a picture of pure exuberance as he floats mid-air.

For now, I can't do much exercise just yet, not while I'm on a very restrictive eating plan.  I'll have to be happy with slow walks in the park, and engage in recreational activities that do not gravitate towards food. So far, so good, it seems we can work out newer patterns of leisure.  And with parks like the one south of High Street, with the landscaped paths, artful trash bins, and engagingly designed spaces, we can while away the weekend engaged in free play.  One weekend down, 50 more to go in 2013...may all the weekends to come be as lovely as this.

Guijo's Baby Barong

Guijo comfortably and proudly paraded around in his barong all day long.

Last weekend, we attended a cousin's wedding at Caleruega Church in Tagaytay (congratulations Gio and Melan!).  We had to look for a suitable barong for Guijo, and finding one was quite pleasurable because Guijo was sooo cooperative. He was charming to the sales ladies assisting us, "modelling" the stuff he tried on, strutting about proudly with an impish grin.   Originally, I wanted to get him a traditional barong made of jusi or piña fiber, so I checked out Tesoro's, but the smallest size available was still too big for Guijo.  We checked out infant wear at department stores, but they were too "baptismal" in style and material, and were too small for Guijo.  Fortunately, we checked out Kido Republic, a line of Filipino-inspired natural-wear for children, and found many options from their modern "barong-inspired line" which offers a kid-friendly and relaxed alternative to the formal and traditional barong. 

Guijo, so well-behaved. He's pretty neat, the barong survived the day with no stains.

The Kido "barong" differed from the regular adult barong in significant ways: it is not made of jusi or piña, which can be quite stiff for baby skin; rather, it is made of a nice, soft, natural fabric, which could presumably be a cotton-linen blend.   While different in texture to the traditional barong, visually, the Kido version mimics the adult classic.  It is similarly beige in tone, and has a semi-transparent/translucent look.  The design at the front of the shirt is painted on, which makes it more comfortable for kids than traditional embroidery.  Oliver picked out a "Chinese collar" style, instead of the traditional collar, so Guijo looked more current, and presko.  We received a lot of compliments on his faux barong, many people found it adorable.

Guijo's faux baby barong (back view) visually matched his Lolo Walter's classic barong.

Guijo gives me my daily excuse to gush.  And when I saw him looking dapper in his baby barong, I found him so cute, I couldn't believe he was mine.  I swear, I will cry at his wedding.   I know that's many years away. But last week, at the wedding - I found myself relating not with the bride... but with the mother of the groom!!! I was watching my aunt, who is as dear to me as a second mother, my Mama Eva, and I watched her keep her composure, as she gave her son, her bunso, away. I held back tears. I had a sense of what she was feeling. How would I feel if it was my baby boy getting married?!  I looked at Guijo,  all dressed up and adorable in his baby barong, and I was ready to weep.  My perfect little baby boy. This will most likely be the image I will replay in my head on his wedding day. Of him, in his first barong.  No matter how tall he gets, how old he becomes, he will always be my baby.  And his wedding day will be one of those days I would hope for, and dread at the same time.  

Me, capturing Oliver capture the moment. If only we can keep them cute forever...

Kido Republic is the children's line of Obra ni Juan (which also makes another line of Pinoy-wear called Hijo).   I first found out about these brands from Carsi Cruz family who gave us their cool clothing as gifts. (Thanks Miriam and Gio, Monty and Molly, and Winnie).  We liked the pieces we received, we looked up the clothing line and happily found comfy and cool Pinoy-style designs for our kids. 

Here's a link to their Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kido-Republic-by-Obra-Ni-Juan-Hijo-La-Obra/243042552401790

A Fresh Start For 2013: Embarking on my Cohen Program

Weighing portions of Cohen-approved food, according to my eating plan.

On New Year's Eve, I took part in an ancient tradition and embraced the cliche: I made a New Year's Resolution.  It is believed that early Christians embraced the first day of the New Year as an occasion for reflecting on past mistakes and resolving to improve oneself, saying their prayers at a midnight mass.  The Romans before them, began each year by making promises to the god Janus (after whom the month January is named).  And before them, the Babylonians too, promised their gods to pay their debts from the previous year. So as 2012 came to a close, I too, looked skyward, and whispered a prayer as I watched the fireworks display on New Year's Eve.  I prayed for fitness and health, and a fabulous figure to match.  Yes, it's really such a cliche.  I join the hordes of fat-fighters all over the world who make "losing weight" a perennial entry on the Top 10 Resolutions List.  Somehow though, my resolution didn't feel like an empty wish whispered to the wind.  I felt the firmness of my resolve.

As the popular saying goes "nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa" (roughly translated: Mercy resides in God, deeds reside in people). My prayer for divine assistance had to be coupled with actions. And I tell you, I took action indeed!  It took a few weeks to orchestrate my New Year's Eve moment.  It started in early December with a trip to Cohen's Lifestle Centre in Makati where I attended an Information Session on their Weight-loss and Wellness Program.  I signed up, paid, and returned for my Blood Test, the results of which were sent to the US for analysis.  I had to wait until after Christmas to receive my Personal Eating Plan.  It took a couple of days to shop for essentials: Extra-virgin olive oil spray; Jacob's crackers; multivitamins; and approved proteins, fruits, and veggies.  I spent an evening happily weighing portions precisely down to the last gram, as prescribed.  I bought organic greens, and choice lean meats, and my mouth was watering as I prepared my food for the next few days.

Our current best friends in the kitchen: the tabletop grill, salad spinner,  
and for Oliver: the juicer and blender for his fresh fruit shakes.

On December 31st, I woke up excited to start my Cohen Eating Plan. I had a mushroom omelette for breakfast, a calamari salad for lunch, and I packed my grilled chicken breast with grilled veggies for our New Year's Eve dinner.  I ate my meal happily, while the rest of the family feasted on paella and lengua, gambas and calamari, beef stew and bbq... I munched on my approved amount of crackers as my loved ones enjoyed their slices of ham, and cheese, and pasta.  And when desert was served, I munched on apple slices as everyone had a slice of cake.  It felt GREAT to be in control! I was surrounded by sweets and savory treats and I did not cave in! I was triumphant over temptation! 

I am more hopeful now, and empowered as I never have been before, to face my weight issues squarely and deal with the problem with finality.  There are several reasons why I am motivated more than ever: 1) Oliver and I just had our annual executive medical check-ups. The results were rather sobering. I had fatty infiltration in my liver, linked directly to my being overweight. The medical recommendation: weight reduction.  2) There are also indications that my hormones have gone haywire. I've been bleeding excessively, enough to make me run to the doctor a few times on suspicions of miscarriage, but repeated ultrasounds have ruled that out, and a pap smear also ruled out infections.  A more plausible cause: hormonal imbalance.  This is what made the Cohen Program attractive to me - it is not just another diet, but promises to re-set hormones.  Signing up for the Cohen Program, in itself, is another source of motivation because... 3) It doesn't come cheap.  But I guess it's also because of the monetary investment in the program that one feels more committed to make it work.  Another cliche comes to mind, the idiom: "you get what you pay for".  I am truly hoping that in this case, something higher in price is proportionally of higher quality (because this is not always the case, necessarily).  There are less-restrictive Cohen programs online that cost a mere fraction of what I signed up for, but I decided to go ahead and do the full formal program (thanks to Oliver's support) which offers continuing blood work and analysis, monthly weigh-ins, and consultations for the next six months.  I want to find a way to peek into my blood chemistry to get some assurance that I am truly addressing my issues from within.  I don't just want weight loss - I want to reboot my entire system, and reset my metabolism, restore hormone balance and really, really start fresh.

My lunch of grilled chicken breast fillet with garden salad.

And somehow, even though I'm only a few days into the program, there are clear signs of good things to come.  Even if I am the only one in the household enrolled in the program, everyone else seems to partake of my resolution in their own ways.  Oliver took me grocery shopping and together we bought lean cuts of meat and fresh vegetables. He coordinated his food with mine, although he didn't do the measuring, and didn't hold back on condiments.  He had a nice lean, flavorful steak for dinner, while I had my steak ground up so I could apportion it to exact weight specifications easily.  I formed it into a patty (with no binders, just salt and pepper to season) and had it grilled.  Last night, we both had grilled chicken breast - his had more flavor, mine was simply seasoned.  He accompanied his meal with brown rice, and soup and salad (with dressing), while I just had plain greens with a few sprays of olive oil and vinegar (no rice nor soup).  It felt good to have him "accompany" me, even if he wasn't on the program.

Narra and Guijo too, are catching on.  They see me preparing my food, and they ask for bits of whatever I am eating.  I snack on apple slices, and they ask for some.  I carefully weigh my food, though, so I don't share my plate.  I give them their own separate servings - and this act of separating my food from my children's is helping me a great deal!  It means learning to resist to finish their leftovers.  I've also reprogrammed myself not to reach for food on display, specially now that our house is full of holiday treats - gifts of chocolate, cookies, cake, and candies.  Oliver suggested we purge the house of forbidden food to create a controlled environment at home, but I refused the offer.  I told him the world will be full of tempting treats, and I must learn to embrace my new principles with conviction from within - that my ultimate goal is self-control / self-improvement / self-mastery.   Narra and Guijo used to love to "feed" me.  They'd affectionately pop a piece of grape, or pop corn, or jelly bean into my mouth.  But they don't do so anymore.  It took only a day for them (and everyone else around me) to catch on.  

Beyond our household, I heard that over at my parents' house, my sister has followed my lead and has also started eating healthier.  She called me last night to report that she prepared her own steamed tilapia (and that's a miracle in itself - tilapia and my sister don't usually go together).  She, in turn, has inspired my dad, who wants to jump on the fat-fighting- bandwagon too.   I first heard about the Cohen program from my cousin Debbie, and later from a friend, Kit, and they inspired me to go for it (thanks girls!). Now, it's my turn to go through the process, and I'm so psyched up!! 

So I had a great New Year's Eve, because I made a Resolution I am excited to live by.  Here's to a fresh start in 2013!!!

Here's the Website of Cohen's Lifestyle Centre Philippines (for the full, formal Cohen Program):

http://www.cohenlifestyle.com.ph/

Here's the Website for the On-line, less restrictive, and cheaper version of the Cohen Program:

http://www.belletoday.com.ph/