Ice Cream Night at Swensen's: Reflections on Giving Your Child the Cherry on Top of your Sundae

I was excited to hear the news that Swensen's recently opened in Manila (Ground Floor, South Wing, SM Mall of Asia). Yay! I lived in Singapore for 5 years and I visited Swensen's often for quick pick-me-ups when I was feeling blue. Last night, it was raining and I've been stuck in the house for 3 days after having my wisdom tooth pulled out, so I felt the need for ice cream! My husband kindly obliged, and Narra was quick to get dressed after dinner. Mall of Asia was a few minute's drive from home, so we were there in a flash.  When we got down from the car, Narra hopped and skipped all the way to Swensen's.  She was excited to see the picture standee of a giant bowl of ice cream at the entrance, as well as the pictures of ice cream creations mounted on the walls.

Swensen's Selection of Kid's Sundaes

What to choose? What to choose? Swensen's menu was a delightful feast for the eyes - fun and colorful - it made me feel giddy good.  The kid's section was particularly cheerful. I let Narra choose her own ice cream, she took a quick look at the kid's page and pointed resolutely at her chosen concoction. She's not one to agonize over a decision, this kid knows what she wants, fast!

Narra ordered "Mr. San's babies" (P115), composed of two mini scoops of ice cream with whipped cream and sprinkles, on a bed of bananas with strawberry syrup.  Narra told me she was the strawberry scoop, and her baby brother Guijo was the vanilla scoop, so this bowl really was "Mama Nikki's babies". 

When Narra's ice cream arrived and I took a look at it, I remembered my own favorite ice cream creation from the old Magnolia house along Aurora Boulevard back in the early 1980's.  I always ordered "Ernie and Bert" which had two scoops of ice cream, and an ice cream cone cut in half, the pointy half sat on one scoop and became Bert's hat, while the other half with the wide rim, sat on the other scoop, and became Ernie's hat. I miss that old Magnolia house... I miss being a kid! 

 

Narra fed herself and successfully finished her bowl of ice cream without any major mishaps. She didn't soil her clothes, or mess up the table with drippings, and she even managed without a bib! I am so proud! She did get an ice cream mustache and sticky fingers, but just a tiny bit so it took only a few swipes with a wet wipe.  And when her bowl was empty, she spied my sundae and asked me for a bite of my wafer... and the cherry on top!

When I gave Narra the cherry from my sundae, I had a moment. I remember an anecdote my sister often recounts to me, of how one time, when we were little, my dad was about to pop a cherry into his mouth after stating how long it's been since he last had one, and just as he was a millisecond away from savoring his prized fruit, I came along and said "daddy I want that cherry".  My sister caught the look on my dad's face as he handed me the cherry - and the re-enactment of his facial expression makes for the climax of the story.  I always thought that story was about my self-centeredness, and my sister's selflessness - she obviously wanted the cherry too, but was mature enough to let my dad have it - in contrast to me - oblivious little me, who just did what I wanted!  But now, I realize, that anecdote is about many things - not just about siblings and their different traits, but also about parents and their everyday generosity.  The moment I gave Narra my sundae cherry, I traveled thirty years back in time and saw things from my father's point of view as he gave his 4-year old Nikki his precious little cherry. I felt so much love - his love for me - my love for Narra - captured in a single, simple act of giving away the cherry on top of a sundae.

I always hear the Filipino phrase "isusubo na lang, ibibigay pa sa anak" in reference to a mother's selfless love for her offspring.  This, I feel, is one of the most important transformations required of a woman when she becomes a mother: to make the transition from self-centeredness to selflessness... from being the one who takes the cherry on top of the sundae, to being the one who gladly gives it away.  

I was quiet with my reflections on motherhood as Oliver sipped his Mocha and Narra wiped the table (she loves to clean up - an OC trait she gets from her father).  She has no idea how she's affected me so deeply with her innocent request for a simple little cherry.  I watched her wipe the table repeatedly, and I was reminded of myself, with my slate wiped clean.  I am no longer the center of my world - she is. And so is her brother. They are now my world, the center of my existence, and I have to re-visit my old dreams, and fashion new ones based on the new equation. To be de-centered is such an awesome experience: disorienting, humbling, but strangely rewarding.

The last time I visited Swensen's in Singapore I was still single. I'd go there for a self-indulgent "feel-good moment" on a sad day. I always ate the cherry on top to feel better.  This visit to Swensen's in Manila was very different - I'm a mother now, and no longer as self-indulgent, and I didn't need to eat the cherry on top to get my "feel-good moment"... I just had to see my daughter's face light up at the pure and simple joy brought by a beautiful bowl of ice cream, with a cherry on top.