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| Silhouette: Me, Oliver, and Joaquin - parasailing at sunset. |
It was precious. Seeing my husband's family in the same boat, smiling, relaxed, and bonding in Boracay. It's been a year since my husband Oliver, and my in-laws Rina, Ging, Winnie, Riza, and Thunder formed a family corporation to put up a kitchen/commissary in their family's property in Mandaluyong, to provide 24-hour food services for call centers in the nearby Ortigas business district. Running 24-hour operations is no joke. It was a colorful year, with some very dark moments, that led to fiery red fights when personalities and management styles clashed in a serious way. The bright hours of triumph seemed to be outnumbered by long stretches of bleak, grey days in between. But fortunately, this May, we saw some sun. We went to Boracay for one big, family trip - more than 2 dozen souls linked by blood, and by name - boarding the same bus, boat, and plane. And I sensed it: the sunny days have arrived. The wounds have healed. The toxicity that stressed relationships throughout the year, dissipated in the wind. It was indeed, precious, and priceless.
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| Our side of the paraw: with Rina, Riza, Jennifer, Me, and Oliver. |
How much does it cost to rent a paraw to see Boracay's magnificent sunset? For 1,500 pesos, the local outrigger sailboat (paraw) took us, some 9 adults, for a soulful ride in calm waters, against a gentle breeze, in the gloriously fading light. Another boat took the two other generations: of our parents; and our children's. But we, the middle generation, were on the same boat. For such a small amount of money, we got so much in return. We were lulled into a peaceful mode of healing contemplation. We were relaxing together. And when the boatman fetched cold bottles of beer from his cooler, and Rina passed around the chicharon - I could hear the happiness in the crunchin' and the munchin' all around. I was on the Cohen diet, and couldn't have the beer nor the chicharon, but I "joined in", by simply holding a bottle in my hand and taking pleasure from its coolness against my skin. In the boat, like in the family business - I was part of the picture, without partaking of the feast (and the frenzy). I did not sink my teeth into the chicaron, nor the business, like the rest of them did. I felt like a participant with an "observer" status - with no voice, nor vote - but with the privilege of being a witness. And I observed many things throughout the year, some disheartening situations that caused major headaches and heart break. So to see everyone smiling, together, relaxing side by side, after a year of trials, to observe this process of coming together and reconnecting - to me, is a moment of triumph. The labor pains, and growing pains, of starting and nurturing a new business have been overcome!
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| On the adults' paraw |
For some people, doing the paraw ride may be boring. Why bother getting on a boat to see the sunset when you can see it just the same from the shore? I really liked it. All the boring aspects of it: the silence, the relative immobility, the meditative qualities - being forced to sit still, and do nothing - being induced into a "zen mode". In a hard-working family, that's always on the go, I think more de-stress and detox moments like these are needed! It was good to see my sis-in-law Ging taking in the sun, drink in had, lost in music - what a far cry from those days a few months back when her stress manifested in health issues. Rina and Riza, seated side by side, smiling; and Winnie looking relaxed. And my husband, with beer in hand, bathed in orange hues, was a picture of contentment.
The next day, we tried a different approach for catching the sunset: we went parasailing! This time, the adults, and the older kids bonded on a speedboat, and we took turns getting strapped by threes, onto parachute harnesses. Oliver and I left Narra and Guijo behind, to bond with the rest of the younger kids, and this, in turn, gave us a chance to bond with our nephews and nieces. Before we got married, one of the things I found attractive with Oliver was his rapport with his pamankins. He seemed to me, to be a cool and fun uncle, and it convinced me that he'll make a good father. With our kids left behind in the safety of our hotel's kiddie pool, we had the chance to focus on the older kids, and to engage them in conversation.
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| Parasailing Group: Nieces Bianca and Sabel, Nephews Arlo and Joaquin, Aunts: Nikki, Rina, Winnie, Riza, and Rakel; and the only Uncle: Oliver. |
Oliver and I had a chance to take our nephew Joaquin on his first go at parasailing. He had his questions, since we were the first group to go, so he didn't know how we'd take off, and land back on the boat. I assured him that it was going to be a very relaxing and awesome experience (that is, for someone who has no acrophobia). The last time I went parasailing in Boracay was with my dad (then 65 years old) and my sister. My mom, who had a fear of heights, happily took our photos. We did that family trip before I got married, sort of like a "last hurrah" for our travel-loving family of four - before we became a family of 5 (then 6, and now 7). The parasailing flight was the culminating activity for that special Boracay trip. I only have good things to say about parasailing, and its something I'd do again and again, for as long as I could.
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| My parasailing group: Me, Joaquin, and Oliver - before flight. |
Oliver, Joaquin, and I, were prepped, harnessed, strapped, and launched! We squealed excitedly on lift off as we pulled away from our sailboat and ascended towards the setting sun behind us. Woohoo!!! The wind was marvelous! When we calmed down from the excitement of take off, we got to talking. Joaquin mentioned how his dad, Owen didn't want to take him parasailing just yet on a past trip to Boracay, when he was still too small. Oliver and I wouldn't want to take Narra and Guijo either, not for many more years! The mention of Owen made my throat constrict and my eyes water. It's been less than two years since he passed away, and the pain of his loss is still fresh. I would sometimes catch Oliver lost in thought, with that wistful look he has when he misses his papa, and his brother. In many ways, this family trip is about them - it is about fulfilling the unspoken promise the living make to honor their beloved dead: that is, for surviving family members to live well, and to love one another, and be each others' sources of strength, hope, and happiness.
When I saw Oliver's three sisters - Winnie, Rina, and Riza, taking off... I was filled with hope. I know it has been a crazy, busy, stressful year for all of them - and the demands on their material and personal resources have been plenty. The year had taken its toll on their health, emotions, and peace of mind. But for a brief moment, while hovering above Boracay, riding the wind, they seemed carefree, and relaxed. They came back looking fully re-charged and ready for another year of hard toil. To see them looking so adorably excited like little children was inspiring.
I feared that traveling as one big travel party would be a stressful undertaking full of logistical issues. But it was surprisingly full of rewarding moments, quiet conversations, and simple joys. I'm still on a high from the trip, and as my sis-in-law Ging messaged to me after: it was fun, and we must do it again!!
